As the dust settles on the last (for some of us thankfully) episodes of "Veronica Mars," and I am pondering a post of what went wrong and who's responsible, the reel of Rob Thomas's "VM: FBI" finally makes it to the net. Or, rather, it's synopsis does. And I can't stop laughing.

Here's the link to the "TV Squad" article:

Oh, dear Lord!

And here are the highlights:

We start out with Veronica on her first day of work at the Los Angeles FBI offices. She has just graduated from the Academy, already with her snappy little suit.

And right off the bat, I have a bad taste in my mouth. This can only get worse. It does:

There's also lots of sexism for her to overcome.

Of course there is. I bet someone'll assume she is dumb! And, gasp!, call her "Barbie" or something!

We're introduced to another hot-shot female rookie and a guy named Sean, who Veronica either slept with at some point or embarrassed at the FBI Academy through her superior sleuthing skills.

Now we are talking! It wouldn't be "Veronica Mars" if she hasn't embarrassed someone with her alleged skills or just because, and we certainly can't have her show up somewhere without someone already pining. 'Cause once you go Veronica, you never go back! Just ask Duncan. Or Logan. Or Leo. Or Piss. I think Troy escaped lightly, but then he was just bluffing.

Veronica goes into a staff briefing where she's essentially given the option of going undercover as a pole dancer or a high school student. Much to her dismay, she ends up with the high school assignment.

Ahahahahahahahaha!!!! Forgive me while I wipe my tears. First of, a rookie on her first day given an undercover assignment? Oh, Rob! Come on! I know you don't give a flying buttress about reality, procedure, law, common sense, or Earth logic, but seriously! Not to mention, who would buy Kristen Bell as a high school student? She could pull it off 3 years ago, with little makeup and short hair. These days, what with the ton of eye-shadow and plastic curls of doom, she looks about 30. Also, wasn't the point of the whole FBI fiasco to get away from the school setting?

And "much to her dismay"? Really? She wanted the poll-dancing assignment? Now I get why the network nixed this. They already have "The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll." Why order another one, only costlier and less professional?

She goes undercover as a juvenile delinquent to catch the principal who's a sex predator. It's a funny but kinda gross scene, where the guy unzips his pants and tells her to give him a blowjob to get ahead.

Ah, here we go. I was wondering when we get to sexual humiliation. I missed it so! But why is FBI dealing with this? A local sexual predator is now a federal crime? Oh, wait, it's a Rob "I Don't Know Anything About Legalities And Jurisdictions And I Don't Care" Thomas show!

Cut to Veronica and the hot guy on a stake-out later that night where we find out that he didn't want to be paired with Veronica, who he refers to as "Barbie."

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!!! Oh, and the "hot guy." I smell triangle. I smell antagonism and passion. I smell a ... actually, I smell decay of Rob Thomas's creative drive mixed with desperation.

Veronica confronts hot-shot girl rookie about not relaying the "drinks with the boss" information to her.

And there's an obligatory confrontation with another "hot-shot girl rookie." Naturally. Veronica needs someone to bitch at, accuse, and put down. And then they'll become fast friends.

It turns out it wasn't her. Sean - the guy who told Veronica that they're "professional adults" now - neglected to tell her; apparently he's still hurting.

As we already know, no one ever gets over Veronica. But not to worry, apparently Sean the one-unmemorable-night-stand-possibly-embarrassed professional adult is also a mail bomber. So, I'm guessing, he wasn't long for this bizarro world. And really, who needs him, when there's "hot guy" new partner?

Here's a comment by the person summarizing the clip:

"It was clear that the show's emotional center was gone - replaced by an "episodic" engine that would require Veronica to go undercover in a different hot outfit every week."

Seriously, the network "loved" this? Then again, the network thinks "Gossip Girl" is gold, so ...

Sigh. I was pretty "meh" after last night. But this is actually spurring me on to continue on that fic I started. If for no other reason, these characters deserve a future that doesn't negate the last vestiges of what was so good about them once upon a time.