Our Lady Of Solitude

I lost my ability to sleep!

2008-07-10T06:59:23Z

Actually lost it... I should be out cold. I'm seriously sleep deprived and yet...

I can't. I've been working non-stop and not sleeping, and my patience is paper-thin. Rice paper. The see-through kind. Working is good. It's good to have these opportunities. It feels like a sacrilege to complain. But if I type out the things that poke holes in my rice paper of endurance, maybe then it'll be less like complaining and more like letting it out into the void. Hoping the void won't mind. Sorry, void!

1. I hate humidity. I can literally feel the water molecules overtaking air on its way into my lungs. I need to grow gills.

2. Hate obnoxious people on the train who sing along to their iPods. Loudly. Dude, the whole reason for those giant-ass headphones you are sporting on your pin-head is so that others won't have to endure what passes for music with you. And really, if I absolutely must learn why "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp," then at least let me do so from the original source. 'Cause I gotta tell you: your "rendition" blows!

3. And while on the subject of commuter train courtesy, when did it become acceptable to perform elaborate grooming rituals in public? And I don't mean a coat of mascara or a touch of lip gloss. Those are fine. So is running a comb through your hair (though I'd draw a line at taking your curlers out and dosing the results -- along with everyone within 15-mile radius -- with industrial strength hair spray. Not cool, lady!). But last week I had actually watched -- unable to take my eyes off in horrified fascination -- a teen-aged couple groom each other, not unlike those monkeys at the Zoo, who express their affection by checking their mates for flees. Those two started by brushing each other's hair (why they couldn't each do their own I'm sure I don't know), and ended up by cleaning out each other's ears with Q-tips... Yeah, there's a lot of gross stuff around public transportation, but this little display somehow made the smell of urine at the downtown station and the sight of squashed cheeseburger leftovers under the seat seem endearing.

4. I hate fandoms. Like, all of them. They are invariably, boringly predictable, and run the same gamut from scary-fanatical obsession to scarier-fanatical self-implosion. The happiest show fan I've ever been was back in Buffy days. I didn't have a computer then, and I didn't even know there were "fandoms." And I say that as a pretty active participant of many a fandom. Who'd made some real friends (and I don't toss that word lightly). But I finally realize that, like all addictions, these joint obsession-fueled "communities" are toxic. They carry you in on a high you came to seek and sometime later you are spit out, bedraggled and depressed over something as ridiculously irrelevant as a fight with some person or other you've never met, don't much like, don't respect and whose opinion is wholly and utterly unimportant. That is as low as a low gets. It's degrading and it kills the joy and the enjoyment that brought you to the show and to the fandom in the first place. I'm adopting the "Who Told You You're Allowed To Rain On My Parade?!" policy. No effing fandoms with their myopic vision and entrenched stupidity. A tiny, polite group is okay. Hell, I'll moderate even. Discussing a show with real life friends who also watch is fine. But the very few shows I love right now? I'm not going into any of the fandoms.

5. I hate people who barely know you yet insist on approaching you as some cliche rooted in their own misconceptions. Yes, moron, I'm Russian. No, I don't drink vodka. Yes, I have an accent and will for the rest of my life. I'm tone-death, so sue me. No, I don't smoke. No, I'm not a computer programmer. Yes, it's my natural hair-color. No, I don't know So-and-So. Around 100,000 Russian immigrants in these parts, and, believe it or not, we don't ALL know each other. No, I don't own a fur coat, but let me break out my pet Siberian Brown bear and a balalaika! Actually, scratch that. I'm a Jew from metropolitan Ukraine. I've never even seen a Siberian bear. Or a balalaika, except on TV, come to think of it. No, I will not teach you how to "say it in Russian." I can, however, say "fuck off" in several languages. So, just fuck off, you ugly-american-wanna-be-yuppie-southern-hick-nerd! ;)

6. I hate it that the silliest things affect me and can turn a perfectly good day into a mess. Things that don't matter. I hate that I know how stupid and wasteful that is, but still can't help it.

7. I hate that I can't help it. I hate that I have no thick skin to protect myself from pin-pricks that puncture my peace in thousands of places.

8. I hate that I can't sleep.

I'm off to sleep... Thank you for listening, void!

Memes Galore!

2008-06-30T05:35:02Z

So this existing on 5 hours of sleep for weeks on end is not good. (And I can hear the audible "DUH!" coming from all directions). I have a show opening in 2 weeks. I'm painting nights. And suddenly I need a moment to get away from it, or I'll do something drastic. Like set my works on fire, or join NRA, or elope to Vegas with the annoying little dude who keeps hitting on me on the train during my daily commute...

Yeah, memes it is, especially considering I owe a few.

a. Music Meme (I was supposed to do this weeks ago!).

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

midnight_27 gave me the letter 'C':

Come Together. The Beatles -- a classic.
Chain of Fools. Aretha Franklin -- another classic.
Caught a Little Sneeze. Tori Amos -- the lyrics are incomprehensible, but the sound is beautiful, and it gets me for some reason.
Cheers Darlin'. Damien Rice -- the drunkest song I've heard in a while. But don't let that discourage you. :)
Cobrastyle. Robyn. -- kind of stupid, but contagious.

b. Getting to Know You Meme. I got tagged by carminaburana (approximately 15,000 years ago, but I'm sloooow...):

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Eeek! I can't remember 10 days ago... Eh, 1998. Graduate school... Painted a lot. Long distance relationship... Oh, God! I did the same thing 10 years ago that I'm doing now! Someone, help me, I'm stuck! LOL.

2. What 5 things are on you to-do list for today?
paint
finish design project
get to work
pretend to work
sleep
... seriously, I don't remember the last day I only had 5 things on my to-do list. *whines!*

3. List some snacks you enjoy:
almonds
is ice-cream a snack? I don't care, it is to me!
apples (hi, Logan!)
baby corn with really scorching hot sauce (stop looking at me like that!)
... eh ... chocolate ... I need help.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Hmm, tough one. I can't visualize a billion dollars, and I'm afraid I need to in order to really play. 'Kay, I'm thinking a gold-plated Hammer, a personal assistant, and a chihuahua. Dressed in leather tutu. Those are the essentials to start. The rest will suggest itself later...

Fine, seriously. Pay off student loans. Take my dad on a trip to all the places he always wanted to go but never could. A house with a studio and a skylight. A fund to help as many destitute elderly in my old country as possible (with no social systems in place, they are the forgotten victims of the shiny new capitalism). I honestly don't know. That kind of money has never left the realm of fairy-tales for me, and I doubt it ever will.

5. List the places you have lived:
Kiev, Ukraine (born, raised)
Vienna, Austria (3 months of limbo immigration is more like waiting than living, but it was like entering a beautiful but bizarre wonderland, and I definitely count it)
Santa Marinella (about 60 km outside of Rome), Italy (next stretch of limbo, slightly more than 3 months, and it felt like years of emotional ups and downs, so yeah, it counts)
Philadelphia, PA (and here I stay, at least for now)

6. List the jobs you have had:
graphic designer at a textile plant (right out of high school, long story)
circulation assistant at the library (college years)
cashier (various shops, part time, college years)
production assistant at a monthly publication (right out of college)
graphic designer (free-lance, various)
assistant art director at a small publishing corp.

7. List ten people you would like to know more about:
I thought about tagging people, but I don't know who to tag off my flist. Apart from arabian and lady_eonen I really don't know the people all that well. So, if anyone feels like giving me a glimpse, consider yourself tagged and I would love to hear from you. :)

c. The interminable book meme. 100 ~~rather random~~ best books:

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare -- (I guess it counts as started but didn't finish, since I've read most of his plays and a lot of the sonnets, but can't possibly claim to have read it all).
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (RIP, dear man. I hope you have your towel wherever you are).
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (what style of type should be used for read but hated with a fiery passion? Because, as we used to say, writing this was a crime, and reading it was punishment).
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (this is The book of my childhood, and I still collect versions of it with various illustrations).
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen (this rivals P&P in my affection among Austen novels).
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (I don't care how uncool I look right now, I love this).
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov (can it count as 2 books if I read both the Russian and the English versions? lol).
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (Man, this one made me ill.)
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville (Oy. I was sooo bored by it, I couldn't get further than a few chapters).
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce (Yep, supposed greatest book of the last century. I couldn't help it, I fell asleep.)
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (it's official, I'm a child).
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams (loved as a kid)
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole (sickening, funny, painful, funny, sad...)
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (eh, isn't it included in #14?)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Okay, back to painting. It's only 1 a.m.

Just under the wire!

2008-06-13T03:48:15Z

Almost missed it, but still...

Happy Birthday to stephanierb! Hope it's a good one! :)

Drive By The Office post

2008-05-16T03:22:32Z

I seriously, utterly, and completely love this show! I want to make it a mixed tape CD on several levels! :)

"His Horribleness is leaving!"
"Michael, we've been over this!" Aw, Jim!
"Okay, how much of the 'anti-gravity potion' would you like?" I love it that Pam doesn't even blink anymore at anything that comes out of Michael. :)
"What is it that I do here? Starts with 'q'." Oh, Creed! :)
"Ryan, please disregard my previous message. You are obviously tied up right now." Ahahaha!
"Holly is the best thing that's happened to this company since Ward War II!" Oh, Michael! :)
"Driving to a supermarket, a party. It's a big day for him." Ahahaha! Kevin!
"I said FINE!" Oh, Angela, way to graciously accept a marriage proposal! LOL.

Andy! Gah! Way to ruin everything, you douche! :)
Oh, Angela! At this rate, even Cat Heaven won't accept you!
Phyllis! With the file dropping! And the face! I love you. :)
Dwight... Is Dwight. Which is always a good thing.
Kelly! Please remain the single cell organism that you are. It's too entertaining for words! :)
Oh, Jan... How sad is it that I sort of think Michael would make a better parent to this poor kid than you?! And that's saying something. A lot, actually.
Loved the new HR. I don't think she'll be staying, but I really wouldn't mind if she did. Not that I want Toby gone.
And speaking of Toby, the whole photo with Pam... How does he do that? Split into two people: a sad-eyed, low key guy you want to pet on the head and feed something nutritious to, and a creepy, skin-crawly, borderline stalker? All in a span of a minute? That's some kind of an achievement.

Oh, man, poor JIM! Poor Pam, too! But poor Jim especially! All that creative energy, all that excitement, all that money and prep and just the right place and time, only to have Andy steal your thunder. I mean, it's like adding a horrible insult to an already sizable injury.

Honestly, I have no doubt that Jim and Pam are going to get married. The writers of this show are not Rob Thomas. They don't get mood swings and retcon everything they've been building for 4 seasons. Yes, I do feel a little like Pam right now: disappointed that the proposal didn't happen.

But it's not the end, it's not even an obstacle. It's an unfortunate delay that sometimes happen in life. What we have been shown so far in those post-strike episodes is unequivocally this:

1. Jim loves Pam. He has no doubt she is it for him. So much so, he's been carrying the ring for almost a year, only waiting for Pam to get on the same paige.
2. Pam is on the same page. She may have been taken by surprise a little when he first brought it up, but by now, with his jokey fake proposals, he has eased her into the idea. And she definitely wants this. She is even talking in terms of having a family.
3. They are serious about it. Jim has stepped up his game at the job he doesn't much like, because he is ready to be an adult, a husband, and a provider. Pam is ready to grow up, too, and move out from the safety of that reception desk for real. She is actively seeking graphics training. (Pratt, by the way! Great school. Congrats, Pam!). And talking about children.

Seriously, who honestly thinks they will not end up together? Am I just deluding myself? It's happened to me before, but I don't think so in this case. The writers chose to not end on the engagement. Given the scrambled season, I can see why they would do that. Also, I am sure they have plans to mess somewhat with Jim and Pam, because what's a TV show if everything goes smoothly. But I honestly don't think they are going to mess with them in terms of silly, artificial new love interests or some convoluted obstacles. They are better than that. Also, can anyone imagine the wrath of fans? LOL. They don't want to be stoned. :)

I only have one plea for these wonderful writers: please, pretty please, do not have Jim and Pam get engaged off screen during the summer. I very much want to see it happen. Thank you!

Justification of Existence

2008-05-12T23:59:42Z

Every time a truly remarkable person dies, the world is a little poorer for it.

Irena Sendler died today. She was 98. A long, and, hopefully, post-war happy life. No one deserved it more.

She had saved some 2,500 Jewish children from the Nazi Holocaust by smuggling them out of the Warsaw Ghetto, some of them in baskets. She was arrested and tortured but refused to give up her accomplices. And after she escaped, she changed her name and continued her work.

When honored as a hero, she responded with: "Every child saved with my help and the help of all the wonderful secret messengers, who today are no longer living, is the justification of my existence on this earth, and not a title to glory."

May she rest in true peace. As a born Jew, and an agnostic at best, I don't know if there is a heaven. But at times like these, I sure hope there something. Because there has to be a place where people like that get their due.

Source

People are crazy and times are strange...

2008-05-09T22:40:28Z

I can't remember who said this, but it struck a chord: there are so many signs of apocalyps lately, it might actually fool us and not come at all.

Seriously, long-dead movie stars make sex tapes and children write memoirs... I'm scared!

• A New York businessman has bought a 15-minute film of Marilyn Monroe engaging in oral sex for $1.5 million. He apparently said that "out of respect for Marilyn he’s not going to make a joke of it and put it on the Internet and try to exploit her.” Eh, dude, want to show some respect? Burn the damn thing! 'Cause I've got to tell ya: the idea of you indulging your necrophilia fetish... Grosser than anything that could possibly be on that tape. Also, while we are at it, if you are public-service minded, give the damn $1.5 million to charity! Or buy something else. Something that doesn't involve you watching dead people having sex.

• 15-year-old Miley Cyrus has signed a deal to write her memoirs.

Yeah, turns out, she knows how to write. Unless she thinks texting is writing.
Disney is going to release her autobiography in 2009. Reportedly, it's going to focus on her relationship with her mother and family.
And according to mom herself, the book will “motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams."

Oy. Them are lofty goals! Good to get that "lifetime of memories" out of the way at 15. Of course now it'll probably be titled "How Evil Annie Leibovitz Ruined My Life!"

Yeah, being exploited by Disney and your parents is all good. But a magazine called Vanity Fair (who'd have guessed it might have nudity?!!!) really is out of line taking embarassing and disturbingly suggestive pictures of Cyrus.

No, not this one.

No, not this one, either.

Come on, you know the one, you can't escape the thing. Everyone is so eager to "protect the child," they keep showing it again, and again, and again...

You know what?
• Hands off Annie Leibovitz! She is amazing. And didn't they check out her portfolio before working with her?

Keep rocking, Annie! :)

• On a much funnier note, the next "Undisclosed" location just might be a beet farm in Pennsylvania!

Looks like Dwight Schrute will finally get some power he so desperately craves. John McCain announced his vice-presidential choice on The Daily Show this week! :)

Aw, Dwight! LOL.

• Finally, I need people's opinion:

What do you think of the phrase "Your Time. Your Thoughts. Your TV"? Too pretentious? Too long? Too something? Just right? Help is appreciated! :)

Jason!!!!

2008-04-25T17:35:39Z

Moonlight is coming back tonight. Love it or hate it or be indifferent to it, the show is definitely causing some buzz, and the boys have been visible, un-vampire like in bright day- and spot-light.

While it’s still very much on the bubble, I feel at peace with the show no matter what happens, and I am grateful to it for giving JD the exposure he’s too damn shy to seek himself. And for giving him, it looks like, finally!, a working atmosphere where he is having fun and feeling hell of a lot happier.

A lot of interviews, articles, videos, photos, etc. have cropped up in the past week. Due to the New York City Comic Con and the Paley Center Moonlight Panel taking place one after another. For Jason fan, it’s a good time!

The goodies:

The NY Comic Con:

First and foremost, our Very Special Correspondent, logansmytvboyfriend at A-Dohring Crowd, brought us some exclusive goodies! For which she should be recognized as the sainted individual she is. :)

Jason at NY Comic Con

She also brought us videos, as well as photos:

****

And onother one from someone else:

****
Here’s a series of fun and cool reports from Pop’n’Fresh:

“Moonlight Boys at Comic Con”

“Jason Dohring stole my Sharpie!”

This one is credited to Pop’n’Fresh

Comic Con Pressroom Confidential: Stalking the Moonlight Boys

****

Entertainment Weekly (yes, I did a double take, too, lol.):

PopWatch Duel: 'Moonlight''s Alex O'Loughlin vs. Jason Dohring

Jason soundbite:

There's nothing better, dude. You can buy all the whatever you want, but sitting around with a cigar and chattin' with my boy, here, is a really good time. We film till really late, so we'll sit around on the WB lot at 2 in the morning, when nobody's there, and just look up at the WB sign and go, "What the f--- are we doing here?" It's beautiful.

Jason, you and your statements are f***ing beautiful. Don’t ever change!

*****
Blog-Talk Radio

Here’s a lengthy, good interview. Seriously, it’s 50 minutes long, so make sure you have time to listen. Some of it is stuff we already know, but there are very interesting new things.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/stations/flylady/SHAUNOMACRADIO/2008/04/23/TV-Talk-w-Shaun-OMac

*****

Jason Dohring, Moonlight Interview

Jason on blood-drives:

”Oh, dude! What they take, I mean, you notice it. You're like, "Oh sh*t I'm short a quart!" You can feel it. They don't let women do it if you're under like 115 pounds or something. It's your life blood. But it was cool, man, they give you a bag of chips afterwards, which is great, and a Snickers bar to get your blood sugar back up. [laughs] And even without the candy, it's someone's life.”

And even without the candy, it’s someone’s life! This has got to be my new favorite quote! ROTFL! Jason, seriously, pleaaaaase, never change!

*****

Best Week Ever from VH-1.

Best-Week-Ever-Does-Comic-Con/

Alex and Jason are about a 1.42 min. in. It’s very short, but hysterical! And her comment: “Those Moonlight boys were a blast.” Indeed.

******
Another article:

http://www.nysun.com/blog/songs-and-numbers/cbs-star-jason-dohring-opens

”A charming individual with a positive outlook on his career, he is quiet, unassuming, and generous. He was very candid about his own career experiences, discussing his audition technique, role preparation and his personal connection to opera.”

Amen to that!

******

Purely Photos:

Moonlight-archive.com comes through with the pictures! Scroll down, the NY Comic Con pics are there:

http://moonlight-archive.com/Archives/Gallery/MiscImages/MiscImages.html

****
Here are a few from thebuzzwire.net ones. More to come soon.

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Last but not least,

The Paley Center Moonlight panel reports

Moonlight-detective.com

More pictures, all courtesy of Moonlight-detective:

Paley Center Panel Photos

Okay, ignore the Purple Monster Kristen. Someone called her “worst moderator ever” and in these days of botched political debates it’s a title one has to fight for. The rest of the pictures are fun!

*****

In conclusion, for some AMAZING close-ups, go to the Moonlightline forum:

The person who took the photos (Missy?) did a wonderful job and deserves credit!
Not stealing or using for anything, just putting this in as a preview:

forums.moonlightline.com

*****

Whatever happens to the show, Jason has made a real impression and gained some amazing new fans (who had never even seen him in VM prior to this). And THAT is the real positive outcome of the year that followed the cancellation of VM. As a huge fan, I am very glad for him.

Iconing on high

2008-04-13T23:06:14Z

Made these completely on the post-The Office, "Dinner Party" high. I adore this show and thank goodness it found me! :)

Fic: Insisting on Love (Logan/Veronica), NC-17 WIP 2/?

2008-04-02T15:21:13Z

Title: Insisting on Love (Part 2a/?)
Author: hiddeneloise
Pairings: Logan/Veronica
Word Count: 8,046
Rating: This part R. Eventually NC-17
Warning: Adult language.
Spoilers: Everything that aired.
Summary: Picks up a few weeks after the events of the last episode of the show. The roller-coaster that is Logan and Veronica. Sometime you need to get off the ride and stop spinning in order to appreciate the high.
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. I just love them. Despite everything.
A/N: There’s no way for me to convey how sorry I am for keeping people waiting this long for the update. There were reasons, but I won’t bore anyone by reciting them and simply promise to never have such a gap between updates again. I appreciate each and every comment and I am deeply grateful to everyone who stuck with this.
A/N2: My poor betas!, arabian and hokeysmoke, who survived this chapter, should really be canonized. Or knighted. Or something equally significant should be done for them. If only I had the power! Alas, my undying gratitude would have to suffice.

Part 2a
Part 2b

Part 1

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends...

2008-02-11T18:31:56Z

I've been sick for a week. Wiped, achy, miserable. And then I looked at my FList this morning, and, apparently, I've been tagged by sweetumms33, and the_spin, and midnight_27, lama_not_llama, and skyroom80 for the "you make my day" award.

And just like that, I'm better! First of, thank you, guys! You make my days on the regular basis, and no joke. :) Second, I know I'm supposed to tag 10 people on my FList to give them the day-making award in turn. But here's the thing: my list is not at all extensive and pretty much everyone on it deserves kudos and mentions for picking me up, making me laugh, intriguing me, making me think, entertaining me, and generally getting me through some pretty depressing days this past year alone. So, instead of just listing everyone, or, worse, closing my eyes and stabbing at names randomly, I am giving this award to my entire list:

Thank you!

My links are Hyper, but oh! so! Hot!

2008-01-29T18:56:54Z

Totally random:

1. Copied from a 1,000 FList entries. :)

Second time's the charm! Yeah, I drew that dude from "Heroes" the first time I played. Eeeeeek! Nooooooo! Not if he was the last dude in the Universe. Not even in a fictional scenario. And I don't even know which of my answers could have possibly led to that conclusion. But, hey, who cares! The second time's jackpot! :)

Who is Your Ideal TV Boyfriend?

Created by BuddyTV

Sigh. Why doesn't my office have a Jim?! To make matters worse, we've got someone who could be Dwight. Well, minus the extremes and one beet farm. How's that fair, I ask you?

2. FRIEND APPRECIATION

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

This one I picked up from arabian's LJ. I, honest to goodness, met people via internet who brighten up my days.

3. SAG Awards. Caught the opening (I Am An Actor) by accident and actually laughed. Am I wrong or is it a bit of a different atmosphere from those other bloated shows? Yeah, it's still all superficial, but it looks like much more fun, and the ones voting for you are actually the people who know about acting first-hand. There are much worse so-called accolades out there (I'm looking at you, Golden ~~Goose~~ Globes!).

4. I am writing the next chapter of that fic, I promise! I'm almost there and should send it on to the betas soon.

5. Yep, still at it (keeps me sane for some reason):

Seriously, it takes no time at all, now that I've got the templates. And it's a good break activity. :)

That's all, folks. :)

I should be working...

2008-01-14T22:33:46Z

Or finishing that commissioned painting. Or getting the second chapter of my fic ready to send to the betas. Or ... working.

So, naturally, I'm playing.

My birthday is this week and all I suddenly want is "The Office" Desk Calendar. Yep, the one that's sold out everywhere. Why "The Office" you may ask? Well, because after seeing it on and off for a few seasons (and enjoying it in a quiet way), I am suddenly and inexplicably in love! Just like that. I got the DVDs for holidays and I can't stop watching them...

Ahem. So, no calendar. And it occurred to me that I am a friggin' graphic designer. And ... I should be working. But instead I did a week's worth of calendar pages. I don't know if or for how long I can keep it up, but it's my birthday week and I can play if I want to! :)

Stupid LJ won't let me post the actual size/high resolution ones. Grr. Still, I've got them printed, stacked and impersonating a calendar on my desk right now! Am happy. :)

Okay, now I can work.... Hmm, what else can I amuse myself with?

Fic: Insisting on Love (Logan/Veronica), NC-17 WIP 1/?

2007-12-27T18:53:08Z

Title: Insisting on Love (Part 1/?)
Author: hiddeneloise
Pairings: Logan/Veronica
Word Count: 9914
Rating: This part R. Eventually NC-17
Warning: Adult language.
Spoilers: Everything that aired.
Summary: Picks up a few weeks after the events of the last episode of the show. The roller-coaster that is Logan and Veronica. Sometimes you need to get off the ride and stop spinning in order to appreciate the high.
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. I just love them. Despite everything.
A/N: My excellent, patient, long-suffering beta, arabian deserves a cookie. Or a Logan under her tree this year. But since I can’t perform miracles, cookie it is.
A/N2: Yep, it’s shaping up to be Epic. Very sorry! It’s just that it lived in my brain for so long I was considering charging rent.

Yeah, it's only Part 1. Stop looking at me like that! :)

The best of 2007? Meh...

2007-12-14T20:13:09Z

'Tis the season ... for the Golden ~~Boobs~~, sorry, Golden Globes, or whatever. The nominations came out yesterday, and I think Nikki Finke (she of deadlinehollywooddaily.com/) put it best:

Once again, I predict that whoever lobbied the so-called Hollywood Foreign Press Association the hardest will win. Which is why the Globes are never an accurate forecast of Oscar nominations. And, while I'm on the subject, be aware that the motley crew who belong to the scandal-riddled HFPA won't grant membership to the real international journalists who work for the prestige newspapers across the world. Which is why I, for one, refuse to hype the HFPA's b.s. every year and will never offer you an analysis of the nominations or wins. Trust me, they're as meaningless as the crappy organization that gives them out.

Not that it's news of any kind. All awards are meaningless and exactly for the same reason. It's who yells the loudest into someone's deaf ear at any given period.

And speaking of the season, it's the end of the year and all sorts of "Big in 2007" or "The Best Of" lists are coming out. This year, as far as pop culture and entertainment goes (with very few exceptions) was a wash. And I find myself caring not at all.

I think of that great Dr. Cox rant (which sadly loses the spark of John C. McGinley's wonderful delivery when put in print): "I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh... Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, 'The O.C.', the U.N., recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything - ever - everything that exists - past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions. Oh! And Hugh Jackman."

So, in the spirit of Dr. Cox -- a true role model if there ever was one! -- here's my list of things deemed important or big this year that I either care little about or that annoy me to no end (in no order what so ever and very partial indeed):

1. The Spice Girls reunion.

2. The Deathly Hallows; gay Dumbledore; straight Dumbledore; the idea of Dumbledore having sex with anyone ever.

3. Dancing with the Stars; Marie Osmond; Donny Osmond; any Osmond.

4. High School Musical I, II and infinity.

5. Iggy the dog.

6. Whoever the hell Dannielynn's baby-daddy is (and I heartily resent the fact that I even know who Dannielynn is!).

7. Judd Apatow and the same damn movie he keeps making (with the same damn actors) under different titles, all about his interminable childhood.

8. Transformers.

9. McDreamy, McSteamy, McNipples and anything to do with Shonda Rhimes' McUnivers.

10. Heroes and their Origins.

11. The Golden Globes.

12. The Golden Compass.

13. Showtime as the new HBO.

14. The old HBO (except for Flight of the Conchords, they rock!).

15. Britney Spears; her hair; her underwear; her children; her custody problems; her dogs; her comebacks...

16. Sanjaya (and I heartily resent the fact that I even know who Sanjaya is!).

17. iPhone.

18. Vajayjay (if you are old enough to know what it is, let alone use it, you're old enough to call it by its correct name, little girl!).

19. That annoying web video of a drama-queen teenager weeping to leave Britney alone! Stop that! No one's THAT gay and no one cares about Britney THAT much! You've got a reality show out of it. Now, get the f***k away from my computer screen!

20. Karl Rove. He was called "Bush's Brain." If I were him, I wouldn't broadcast that distinction.

21. Rosie O'Donnell and The View. Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump. Rosie O'Donnell and anything.

22. Pretty much all TV ads and political campaigns...

... Oh! and Kristen Bell!

I could go on, but there isn't enough bandwidth. Happy Holidays! :)

I love Joss Whedon!

2007-12-12T05:23:42Z

Yes, I know he isn’t perfect. But I don’t care. Also, this is like a year old, and I’ve heard about it, but I just stumbled over this full list and it made my day. My tiring, difficult, sleep-deprived, headache-inducing, grumbley day. Humor me.

Basically, last year, on Whedonesque, Joss made a list of his Top 25 favorite TV characters. In response to James Gunn’s ditto. Don’t know James Gunn, don’t give a hoot, just want to giggle over Whedon’s list:

Hi! Remember me? I don't. But I think I have something to do with writing stuff, or writing ABOUT stuff -- I might be a food critic. I'm pretty critical about food, so that's probably it.

Anywhy, I couldn't look at Mr Gunn's nice list without suddenly being compelled to make one of my own. What is it about lists? Are they like soft-shell crab with a mango coulis, where... actually I don't know where that's heading. Possibly to ADVENTURE! I made a list.

Following James' rules, but also adding a "no shows of my own" clause, here's the first awesome 25 I could come up with. Let the debate be debatey! (oh, also I'm not bothering to spell check, IMDB, or ask anyone about things I only partially remember. So best of luck knowing what the hell I'm typing about.) In no particular order:

1) #6. (See, it really is no particular order, or this would be about 5 later.) Patrick McGoohan retaining ultimate cool in the face of existential, Kalfka-esque shenanigans and a giant floating Blancmange.

2) George Michael Bluth. Arrested Development is impossible to choose from, but the buttoned-down kid is usually the character I can't stand and George Michael is frikkin' adorable. Poor little guy. (Joss, yeay!)

3) Does anybody remember the desperate last-minute revamp of Beauty and the Beast? Where they got all thrillery, killed Linda Hamilton and replaced her with Jo Anderson as a sort of female Will Graham (before half the characters on TV were sort of female Will Grahams-- before, in fact, Clarisse Starling)? Well she was awesome. Cool, and wicked beautiful, and being stalked by Lance Henriksen as a guy named "Snow"! The stuff of life! Show died in a month. (Ahahaha!)

4) Belzer from Hill Street Blues. Guy could not partner with anyone who didn't die. The actor, the wannabe hero, the 'tard, the nice lady -- they were all meat for the Belzergrinder. I don't care how repetitive it was -- he was feral, funny and human. Eating out of a can on X-mas, getting a call -- that's a wrong number -- and never for a moment feeling sorry for himself. Wow. I feel sorry for myself all the time, and I eat from very fancy cans. (I repeat: ahahahaha!)

5) Josh Lyman from the West Wing. Another 'throw a stone, hit a favorite', but Josh has a thing. That thing is called Donna. (Joss, for that alone, I can kiss you right now! But wait, more’s to come!)

6) Ed Asner in any show featuring Lou Grant. Solid, baby. Oh, I'll just slide my character from high comedy to high drama like people do all the time. What's that you say? Well, surely very often, yes? No?

7) Gordon Jackson: Mr. Hudson the Butler in Upstairs Downstairs. The avatar of cool, except in that late episode where they made him cry over some young woman which was entirely unseemly.

8) Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe on Friends. Yeah, backlash etc., but that was one of the best written shows ever for a spell and when it was, she could not miss. Really unique.

9) President Stands-With-A-Fist from Battlestar Galactica. The role she was born for. (Hell, yeah! Laura Roslin! You tell ‘em, Joss! And how funny is "President Stands-With-A-Fist!?). You wanna go head to head with Edward James Almos? Perhaps you don't remember what a bad-ass he was on Miami Vice. So bad-ass, in fact, that he's…

10) … so there.

11) Rod Serling on the Twilight Zone. He wasn't a character per se, he was just TV at its finest and smoking at its coolest.

12) Quincy M.D. Or my wife will divorce me. But also, yeah. (Ha!)

13) Logan from Veronica Mars. Smirking his way into TV history. (OMG, Joss! This?! This deserves my undying devotion! You know, if you didn’t have it already. LOL. And a resounding "HELL, YEAH!").

14) The (American) Office is another throw-a-stone, but I'm giving it up for Jim, 'cause I've watched that scene between him and Pam in the season 2 finale like 17 times and his readings are smooth like booze. Also, he's the person in that scene who's not married to James Gunn, so I can rant and nobody gets freaked. (I fear James as I fear few things.) (LOL. Maybe I should find out who James Gunn is. If he scares Joss, he must be something. Also, yeay for Jim making the list! The boy is lovely.).

15) Agent Dale Cooper. 'Cause pie. (Ahahahahaha! "’Cause pie!" And ‘cause Dale Cooper kicked all sort of ass!)

16) Finola Hughes, Anna Devane on General Hospital. Why does she flirt with me so?

17) Jonathan Banks in Wiseguy. Here's a guy doomed to play heavies in movies like "Freejack" -- throw some wire-rimmed glasses on him and he becomes the coolest man on the tube. (3rd use of 'cool'. This is clearly important to me, this 'cool'.) While Ken Wahl lost his mind and gained his weight, Banks anchored the show from first to last. Indelible.

18) Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. This may be stretching the rules, but your modern world frightens and confuses me and he's on the damn list. (I may be overusing this, but … Ahahahaha!)

19) Kristie MacNichol on Family. Early crush. Can't remember much more.

20) That car rental guy from Veronica Ma… -- oh this is too cheesy even for me. Columbo. (Joss, you are killing me!)

21) Bea Arthur as Maude. Or in anything ever. But mostly Maude.

22) Jerry Orbach in Law and Order. I hated the obligatory wisecrack, but Jerry is New York personified (and a Broadway Hoofer) and as real as it gets...

23) ...Unless it gets to Dennis Farina in Crime Story, who actually WAS a cop before he started acting. Tough guy, great cars, what-a-show. The bad guy gets nuked. NUKED.

24) Dick Van Dyke. He's diagnosing... murder! Also I think he had a sitcom. (I can’t help it: Ahahahaha!)

25) House. If you saw him in Blackadder, even more so, but if you haven't, House. The last great humanist. (OMG, "the last great humanist!" I’m dying here!)

'Kay. That's that then. First off, what's up with all the cops? Even Finola on GenHo was Chief of Police. Second, I reserve the right to wake up tomorrow and scream bloody murder at remembering the 25 I actually like much better. In fact, I think I'll do it now. BLOODY MURRDERRRR!!!!!

I feel better. Back to work, Crachitt.

-Joss. …

Thank you for the laugh, and for some great choices!

The Universe is mean to me!

2007-11-21T16:06:57Z

Saw this in fedek06 journal. Thought I deserved something nice this year. Hoped Santa might see it that way, too.

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In April I gave lady_eonen a Dutch Oven (-10 points). Last Saturday liliana_ and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). In March I put gum in shiny4love's hair (-12 points). Last Monday I helped arabian across the street (6 points). In July I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-81 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!

Sincerely,
hiddeneloise

Yeah, fat chance! Now, what does one do with a lump of coal exactly? Could it be made decorative?

Project Erin

2007-11-13T15:42:08Z

I don't often do something like this (in fact, hardly ever), but it seems important to me. And it's an easy thing to do, simply click on a download button, once a day, for a small, 3kb, virus-free file. The result, however, could save someone's life. Certainly improve its quality. I can't think of a single reason not to do this if we possibly can.

A blurb from her site (www.projecterin.com) to explain who she is and what this is all about:

Hi, my name is Erin and I'm a 29 year old single female living in the United States of America. First and foremost, I'd like to thank you for visiting my website. I'm trying to get enough downloads to qualify for a monetary payout of MegaUploads Rewards program. Let me explain why.

I suffer from two neurological disorders (Chiari malformation and cranial lesions) that will require a combined total of 2-4 brain surgeries. Living with a Chiari malformation is painful and exhausting. Living with cranial lesions in addition to the Chiari? Is beyond any kind of description.

I'm unemployed and uninsured and don't qualify for Medicaid. Bottom line: In the USA, if you don't have insurance, the healthcare system doesn't exist for you.

I've thought about the different ways I can try to raise this money. I don't like asking for handouts or charity of any kind, so I have hesitated in giving my PayPal information as a solicitation for donations.

Then, I came across the MegaUpload reward program and used part of what little money I do have to set up a paid account for two months for $11.99. This program states if I get 5 million downloads, they will pay me $10,000. There a few stipulations: only one download per IP address per day, only downloads made from qualifying countries (there's a link to the list on the website), no attempted manipulation or fraud to earn more points.

I don't know if this is too good to be true, but I figure it's worth a shot. If I can somehow reach enough people who would be willing to take time out of their day, hopefully more than just one day, to download this virus free text document, I may be able to get the surgery I need to continue living.

To quote leucocrystal: She's ill and is losing hope on her worst days. Here's how I avoid forgetting to download every day: make ProjectErin.com your home page! That way, every time you open your browser, you just click and you're done for that day! Please people, keep downloading!

The Emmys.

2007-09-17T16:12:08Z

Or, as I like to call them, “The Academy of Bloated and Hopelessly Tunnel-Visioned Geriatrics" Awards.

Didn't watch it, but the results are in. Yawn.

1. The “Goodbye, It’s Been Swell” Award
“The Sopranos” for the best drama. Not that it isn’t a decent show. But they nominated it every year, and every year it lost to something the geezers at the Academy were more comfortable with. This was their last chance, and, honestly, pitted against the laughably weak “Grey’s Anatomy,” muddled and hampered by frankly awful writing “Heroes,” the joke of a “drama” “Boston Legal” and same old “House,” what else was there to vote for? It isn’t as if “Friday Night Lights” or “Battlestar Galactica” – just to name a couple -- were on last year or anything.

2. The “They Have Alec Baldwin and That’s Funny” Award
“30 Rock” for the best comedy. Yeah, I know, it’s not the worst one out there. It’s certainly not the worst one nominated. That honor goes to “Three and a Half Men.” And all things considered, it was a toss up between them and “The Office” (which is the more consistently funny and better overall acted show). I know they say “30 Rock” had that “classic” “Mary Tyler Moor”/“Taxi” feel. To me it spells “old fashioned.” Which is not a terrible thing. And Tina Fey is a good writer. But it being the best comedy on TV right now? Meh.

Incidentally, I fully expect “The Flight of the Concords” not to be nominated next year. Because a truly funny stuff that’s off-kilter and unusual – unless it’s helmed by a “name” (like, say, Ron Howard) – will fly by the academy like a concord.

3. The “We Are Senile and Enjoy Inexplicable Redundancy” Award
James Spader for best actor in a drama. Yeah. There are hardly words.

4. The “Connie Britton is Too Obscure to Nominate” Award
Sallie Field for best actress in a drama. I would like to say that I have never watched a single episode of “Brothers and Sisters,” what with it running against something else I watch and having Calista Flockhart as the lead (plus I get stomach cramps just looking at Rob Low). So, for all I know, SF kicked overhyped Kyra Sedgwick’s, ever-present Mariska Hargitay’s, barely noticeable Patricia Arquette’s, very noticeable but rather always the same Minnie Driver’s, and “enough already!” Edie Falco’s asses this year.

But you still can’t convince me that she was better, stronger, subtler and more powerful than Connie Britton.

5. The “Thank God It’s Not That Monk Guy Again!” Award
Ricky Gervais for best actor in a comedy. This one actually made sense. “Extras” was hysterical. And his only competition was Steve Carell, whom I love from way back when he was on “The Daily Show.” But I am okay with Ricky. (And how come “Extras” weren’t nominated in the comedy category?)
And thank you, again, for not giving it to Tony Shalhoub! His shtick got old 3 years ago. Not to mention, “Monk” is painfully unfunny. And I don’t even have the words for seeing Charlie Sheen in this category. Urgh.

6. The “Lauren Graham Who?” Award
America Ferrera for best actress in a comedy. I have nothing against her. She is good and the show is mildly amusing if over-the-top and taken way too seriously. And Felicity Huffman is and always will be the best actress in this category. Though “Desperate Housewives” did her no favors last year. But how about, instead on nominating the same “Old Christine” every time, picking someone actually funny, if not as well publicized? Though, God knows the ship for good comedic choices has sailed a few years ago.

7. The “It’s Too Many Of You Out There and We Can Barely Remember The Few Show’s Titles As It Is” Award
Katherine Heigl for best supporting actress in a drama. Now, she is not bad, don’t get me wrong. But better than Sandra Oh? Meh. And, for goodness sakes, there were other shows this year besides “The Sopranos” (does Lorrain Bracco even do anything anymore?) or “Grey’s.” There are certainly better performances out there. But hey, it’s the Emmys. It’s not about acting at all.

8. The “What’s That ‘Subtlety’ Thing You Speak Of?” Award
Jamie Pressly for best supporting actress in a comedy. Again, she does a competent job playing against the type …. Ahahahahahahaha!!! Sorry, I can’t do this. Snort. Yes, she does well. But better than Jenna Fischer? Sigh.

9. The “Obligatory Old Guard but Thanks for Not Making It Shatner Again” Award
Terry O’Quinn for best supporting actor in a drama. I don’t watch “Lost.” But I have seen Terry O’Quinn in gazillion things and he is always, invariably playing the same type of character. The same way. He is awfully good at it, and kudos and all for filling a niche, but award-worthy? Then again, it could have been worse. It could have been Shatner yet again for playing the same gasbag for years now. Or Masi Oka, who is misplaced here, because if he belongs on any ballot, it’s in the comedy category. Which brings me to …

10. “We Love Neurotic But Don’t Get Deadpan” Award
Jeremy Piven for best supporting actor in a comedy. Again, could have been worse. Could have been Jon Cryer. Should have been Rainn Wilson. At least the dude brings on the laughs. But man this category makes me livid for missing, yet again, John C McGinley. As Dr. Cox would have said, “people are bastards. Bastard-coated, bastard-filled bastards.” ‘Nuff said.

There were other amusements. “The Office” won the best writing, but not the best comedy. “Battlestar Galactica” and “Lost” were nominated for the best writing but not for drama series. Because writing is completely unimportant, people! Snort. And I could go on, but I won’t.

All in all, it was the usual “Who Gives A Flying Kite? We’re Here to Judge Fashion!” annual event. So glad I missed it!

And speaking of being glad to miss something, was that Kristen Bell wrapped in a hospital sheet, sitting in the front row with Masi Oka and blocking the actual cast of “Heroes”? Because that was comedy gold!

Sure, I haven’t filmed a single episode of “Heroes” yet. And sure I have no reason to sit here in the front row, pushing Hayden Panettiere to the back. And okay, those are the dog pee stains on the hem of my dress. And yes, my dress looks like the sheet they wrap dead bodies in at the morgue. Also, the same color. But don’t you get it?! I AM PHOTOGRAPHED!!! WITH ACTUAL FAMOUS PEOPLE!!! I’VE ARRIVED! WHEEEE! COATTAILS!!!! WATCH ME SMUG MY WAY INTO THE PARTY!

Urgh. I need a drink.

No idea why I did this

2007-09-13T20:48:46Z

Except, possibly, due to the lack of sleep.

Not that I've given Harry Potter the book much thought in the past months, just suddenly wished for some Zonko's pencils. This literally came out of nowhere, but now that I ponder the origins, I blame the dearest lady_eonen, my partner in mocking. :)

Yeah, I know. Mischief accomplished, off to do something constructive.

I need advice re: fanfic.

2007-09-01T03:51:47Z

So, yeah, I’m writing a VM fanfic. Don’t laugh! And when I do I try to stay close to canon. What can I say, I’m a masochist. In the course of writing I came to that pesky FBI Internship Veronica supposedly got. I planned to stifle my disbelief (forget suspending it, in VM case it has to be beaten down with butch boots and grounded into dust in order to swallow what Rob Thomas is selling). I figured I might as well go to a web-site and read what such an internship would entail.

And I am, once again, confronted by the fact that Rob Thomas is either incapable of learning, lives in his own reality, or else, thinks his audience is illiterate and addle-minded. Because it took me all of 12 seconds of Googling to find out what he was too lazy to look up.

1. FBI does NOT take freshmen into their Internship program Applicants must be in their junior or senior year!
2. Applications are due in earlier October!
3. An extencive interview process is set up, both at the local field office and then, if you pass that, at the headquarters in Washington, D.C. by early November.
4. Final decisions are generally made in November, and selected candidates receive a conditional job offer soon thereafter.
5. And this little sticky point right from their site: Background Investigation – Candidates who accept a conditional job offer will be asked to complete the required background investigation paperwork and will be scheduled for a security interview, pre-employment polygraph examination to check the truthfulness of all of your responses (I can just hear that: Miss Mars, have you ever committed a Federal crime? Say, helped a fugitive flee the country? Please answer yes or no), urinalysis test, and fingerprinting. FBI investigators will also contact former and current employers, references, social acquaintances, and neighbors, and review school, credit, arrest, medical, and military records. The length of your background investigation depends on a number of different variables, including how quickly and thoroughly you complete the background investigation documents; the extent of your foreign travel or time living abroad; and inconsistencies in the application and investigation process.

There’s no way in hell Veronica Mars makes it past any of this! None!

And if in some alternate universe she does, here’s the exciting work she’d be ~~stuck with~~ performing enthusiastically:

1. "As an Honors Intern, you will have opportunities to participate in executive briefings; field trips to the FBI Academy, the FBI Laboratory, and the Washington Field Office; special tours of FBI Headquarters, etc. You will find it to be an intense, fun-filled, and rewarding summer."

For that, read "field trips" and long, boring meetings you have to take extensive notes at.

2. "Projects vary according to the background of the Honors Intern. For example, in past years Honors Interns with a Psychology, Forensic Psychology, Sociology, Behavioral Science, or Criminology background have worked on research projects such as the analysis of crime data."

Yes, Veronica, you can look forward to the hours and hours of fascinating staring at the charts and printouts! Yippee! But hey, you get to compile the whole sheets of paper, sort them by color, and stuff them into neat packages! And that label-maker is a hoot!

"Projects also vary based on the division of assignment. For example, Honors Interns assigned to the FBI's Inspection Division have audited divisions throughout the United States to assure compliance with FBI regulations."

Regulation compliance, Veronica! Just the thing you are so good at! It’s practically your field of expertise right there. Plus, think of the fun studying all those thick volumes of rules and regulations!

"Honors Interns assigned to the FBI Office of Public Affairs have conducted readership surveys for the FBI's internal magazine ("The Investigator"), analyzed the results, and presented recommendations for future issues."

As someone who’s done "readership surveys," I am here to tell you that it’s right up there with root canals and OBGYN visits for sheer entertainment value.

Sigh. I’m getting to the point, honestly. The advice I need is whether I should rework my plot (or what passes for plot in my story) to ignore this travesty and make like Veronica never heard of this Internship? Or should I treat reality the same way RT does and just pretend the Universe obeys my misconceptions? Help!

LiveJournal and other live objects

2007-08-07T19:40:16Z

So I must be in a wrong fandom. Or simply living under a rock. Or both. There's a big bad brewing with the LJ, and I have yet to figure out why. But enough of my LJ friends spoke up for me to peek cautiously into the cattle, and ... oy.

I can't add anything more substantial to what leucocrystal has already said here. Except to mention that, as a recovering Soviet, I have a huge problem with censorship. It makes me uncomfortable. I especially take issue with the idea that sweeping measures across the board are a good way to rid it of some, admittedly, real offenders. Words "baby" and "bathwater" come to mind.

Lifted the below from juls_chuls. Thank you for the funny!(And the scary!) :)

I call a foul! As much as I would love to discover fresh air, real life, and true love (in that order? why?), I contest the notion that it's the LJ that keeps me from such discoveries! LOL.

And, oh, I can't believe that sweet earth2mars would do such a thing! Let alone for some lame-ass spoilers about Luke's father! I mean, who doesn't know who Luke's father is! And who still cares? LOL.

1. Random thing number 1. The end of LoVe that, thankfully, wasn't.
Jason Dohring gave an interview to gave an interview to IGN.com. It's delightful as always, and has fun info on his upcoming "Moonlight" series. But the heart-breaking tidbit is this:

IGN TV: At the end, what were you hearing was going on with Veronica? There was a lot of different things being said about it returning or not returning, including the possible FBI idea.

Dohring: Yeah, totally. Rob came to us and said that it was pretty much done; there was about a 10% chance of it coming back, and there was maybe a 40% chance of it going on to a different show. He had talked about if that idea continued that there might even be a character arc for me in that, which would have been fun.

IGN TV: In the FBI incarnation?

Dohring: Yeah, because I think he was talking about some completely irredeemable act, or something like that, that I would perform. Something like that - just get me in a couple of episodes. So that would have been fun! I just loved working with Kristen, you know?

Oh, Jason. Whether he is utterly gullible or just a class act, I love the fact that he -- despite the shitty treatment he received from the show-runner and the star, and the even shittier treatment his character got from them, refuses to say anything less-than-nice and enthusiastic about the whole VM experience. Some say you are drinking the Kool-Aid, JD. If that's true, I want some, as well. I admire your refusal to be poisoned.

As it is, Rob Thomas is clearly a sociopath hell bent on destroying his best -- albeit accidental -- creation, and it's information like this that makes me ecstatic we never got a Season 4. In any incarnation. In which Logan would have only been used in a couple of episodes, only to commit a completely irredeemable act (And I wonder what that would have been by Rob Thomas' standards. We already know he thinks rape is perfectly excusable. Was he going to have Logan murder Mac and use her body as a weapon with which to bash Veronica's headlights in? I'm morbidly curious to know.).

Whatever. It's over, it ended on an open, hopeful note, and Logan walked away with dignity. And no amount of lame comic-booking and/or movie pipe dreaming on the part of RT will change that for me.

1. Random thing number 2. I had a show.

Yeah, yeah, it's been a month, but I was so sleep-deprived, I'm only now waking up.

So, here are some samples. Mostly for the few people who expressed interest. :)

Okay, I think I bored people enough today. Off to do some actual work. :)

Harry Potter And That Deathly, Hallow Feeling

2007-07-25T19:58:29Z

RIP HP.

So, yeah, book 7.

Wasn't going to post about it. Because there are only so many words to describe "Meh." Also, because it's hardly worth the effort required to shout "HERE BE SPOILERS!!!!" to those threatening carnage.

And yet, here I go. What can I say? I need to amuse myself and -- if she can
stomach the (very few) details -- my poor dear lady_eonen, who shares my clearly unpopular feelings, but hasn't yet reached the stage of Mocking Zen.

One disclaimer: I do realize that there was no way J. K. Rowling could have not disappointed at least a part of her readership. The build-up took years. The allegiances, preferences, entrenchment and expectations were all firmly set. And generally speaking, in a group this enormous and this
diverse, it's not surprising to see a fan puking up disgust in a corner while another one jumps up and down alongside going "It's from happiness, right? You're sick on sheer joy, aren't you?!"

Whatever I think of her as a writer (I won’t go there), I do give her credit for the obvious: she created a world a lot of us at least liked to visit from time to time. Yes, she quilted most of it out of snippets of various sources. She knows her classics and her archetypes. And she can juggle with the best of them. It’s not uncommon in literature, and when done well, it's a tremendous work and a miracle to behold. Tolkien constructed his out of other -- Norse in particular -- mythologies. Though nowhere near Tolkien's caliber, JKR nonetheless did a very good job creating the HP Universe.

Too bad for those of us who, in the end, found ourselves looking for the next Hogwarts Express the hell out of there. More thoughts and pics under the cut below.

This is no profound analysis. I don't have it in me. This is completely random and not intended to offend anyone who genuine liked the book. This is for my own therapy. Mocking helps me process and move on.

What's In a Name?

It's 19 years later, and, clearly, premature senility has settled over our heroes. Because there's no other justification for naming your kid Albus Severus. There just isn't. So you've got three of them (like there aren't enough Weasley-offshoots running around already?!), and you name them James (fine), Lily (okay, though kind of icky, considering the first owners of those names in the Potter clan were married ... and I'm guessing I'm the only one disturbed enough to wonder about incestuous undertones), and ... Albus Severus? Poor Alby! It's always the middle kid who gets the short end of a wand. I get Albus: he was, in a way, Harry's kindly if distant grandpa. But Severus? Yeah, yeah, died on the right side of the street, so to speak, but come on! Harry, seriously, of all the people who died for you? Why didn't Sirius rate a name? Lupin? Hell, I would have had more respect for you if you named your kid Albus Dobby! (Though, if possible, felt even sorrier for the kid). Snape didn't even die for you so much as for your mother (which is a whole other source of creepy, deserving its own paragraph). Well, Harry, you better watch out: your middle child is already going to resent you for sticking him with a pompous-ass double name while giving a free pass to his brother and sister (honestly, how come they aren't, say, James Sirius and Lily Nimphadora? I'm just saying.). But this particular double name? And going into Hogwarts? I said it already, but it bears repeating: poor Alby!

Though it's possible he won't have to suffer alone. There's Scorpius Malfoy! (Count on Draco to provide one bright and hysterical moment!). Hey, maybe after little Albus Severus has the pompous-ass stuffing kicked out of him by Gryffindors -- for being named Albus Severus -- he can go and hang out with little Scorpius. Who, likewise, will be getting many beatings from Slytherins for having an overkill of a name. Seriously, no one is that much of a Slytherin!

You sexy thing! Here’s to hoping you’ll only need a cooling suit because you’ll grow up hot!

They'll bond and will spend all their free time hiding out in Myrtle's abandoned bathroom, making fun of all the pedestrian-named Weasleys. Especially Hugo. 'Cause Hugo Weasley is just asking for it. His name is practically Celtic for "I'm gayer than Gay Gordons!"

Wait, is this, maybe, Hugo? Family resemblance is a bitch!

As to adults... Aberforth? Grindelwald? Bathilda Bagshot sounds like something out of Marx Brothers. Xenophilius Lovegood would be a cool porn name if only “Xenophilius” didn’t smack so much of a disease. (And I thought Nimphadora could not be topped.).

"All was well."

Well...

Practically every character I was even mildly invested in ended up either dead, rendered powerless or irrelevant, or with a future that makes me gag. Figures. I have little luck when it comes to such things. My tastes and expectations are too off-the-wall, I suppose. And I’m too old. Or something.

So, RIP, the fallen I actually gave an owl’s hoot about:

Lupin, you wounded but loyal dog. Considering you managed to father a puppy, you
at least went out with a bang, not a whimper.

Severus Snape. I liked you more in fan fiction than in real books, but you did interest me (inexplicable petty abuse of Harry not withstanding). Too bad you turned out to be irredeemably pathetic. Oh, well, screw your dubious motives: your actions were always entertaining and that’s a lot more than I can say for plenty of other characters.

Fred Weasley. Along with George -- though I could never tell you two apart -- you were the only interesting members of the clan. (Well, Ginny attempted intriguing and complex there
for a while, mainly when she was Tom Riddle’s tool, but that went nowhere fast. Between book 2 and 3 she was replaced by a Date-A-Lot-Bot with an attitude, which wasn’t even remotely appealing.). So, Fred, I hope there’s room for mischief in the wizarding heaven.

Is there an owl heaven? Why kill a mail carrier, I ask you (or why stuff her in a cage when she can fly)? Poor Hedwig, I’ll miss you. Never said a word, yet still had more personality than some of the humans in these books.

And here’s not quite a RIP but a Eulogy non-the-less:

Hermione Granger. My favorite girl, the one who felt fully-fledged and real to me consistently, the one who tugged at my heart for all the right reasons. For all you’ve done, for every impossible thing you’ve accomplished, for bravery, intelligence, foresight and perseverance. Is this really your reward? Ron-The-Yawn-Weasley and two brats? Look, I don’t mind the prosaic and the pedestrian of it. And maybe domestic bliss is all you want these days. But, Merlin, what kind of a bliss can be provided by Ron? What kind of intellectual, emotional -- I won’t even touch the physical -- or spiritual stimulation can he possibly give? Face it, my dear, you’ve adopted a child and, in fact, have three of them to cope with now. And while you were always a cross between a nurturing mother and a dominatrix to both of your boys, and it was clear from the start you’d end up disciplining one of them for the rest of your life, did it really have to be the dippy one?

(I understand that wizarding is a small world and that they all go to the same three schools on the continent. So it follows they all end up marrying each other. Which explains those clear symptoms of inbreeding observed in Weasleys. Or the Blacks. Or name your own pure-blood clan with sprawling progeny. Which is yet another reason Hermione should have stayed the hell away.). :)

Somehow being Mrs. Weasley just seems like such a come-down and a waste. At the very least, if being a Mrs. Weasley was what you truly wanted, couldn’t you have opted for Mrs. George Weasley? That boy needs extra mothering, too. And he is much more fun than his little – very little – brother. You’d have never gotten bored with George, and I guarantee you, your son would not have been named flipping Hugo!

“Is this remorse, Severus?”

Thus ends the huge debate over Snape’s motivations. He is evil. He is not. He is a double agent. He is a triple agent. He is double-triple-something-crossing-Harry-guard. He is misunderstood... He is a bore, after all. More’s the pity.

In the end all that potential complexity comes down to this: he is a pathetic junky whose only reason for switching allegiances is guilt and fury over the death of the source of his addiction. It’s not the conscience talking, it’s not regret over unthinkable actions, it’s not the loss as such but of something he wanted for himself and never had. Does his single-minded obsession with Lily make him any less evil? Or any less guilty of what befell the Potters? Would he have resigned his Death Eater season tickets had Voldemort spared Lily? Would he have felt a moment’s pang for James, baby Harry or the untold numbers of muggles, mudbloods, witches and wizards killed? I suppose it is a resolution of sorts: his true allegiances to Voldemort’s theoretical ideals changed but little. It’s just that his single-minded obsession was stronger. It led him into Dumbledor’s circle and under his influence, which rubbed off somewhat over the years, I suppose. Snape now is not as quick to dismiss random lives as Snape of old would have. Still doesn’t reach the status of humanity. Even by the time of his death he has yet to give a real damn about anyone alive. What looked like affection for, say, Draco, turned out to be just a strategy and a habit. And so did pretty much every supposed emotion except that of utter disdain and visceral revulsion toward Harry. That were genuine. And it might be interesting to someone. To me, it’s a cop-out of a motive and a wipe-out of many things I used to find intriguing about him.

Oddly enough, I liked what happened with the Malfoys. Their motivations I understood and could sympathize with. It’s funny how explicitly JKR stated -- through Harry -- that the one weapon Voldemort discounted always was love, and that’s why he never suspected Snape. And that Snape was driven by love. Love? I wonder Voldemort missed this particular example of blinding obsession. After all, he’s so, so familiar with that emotion. I see love in Malfoys more than I see it in Snape, though there’s no specific focus on it except in their actions. Lucius is broken, but his one remaining drive is his love for his son. Narsissa doesn’t care who wins, she just wants to keep loved once alive and together. And Draco is discovering things about himself that he -- and we -- didn’t know he was capable of. He realized at the end of last book he wasn’t a cold-blooded killer. He clutches a friend in a flaming room, refusing to leave him to die. He is driven by fear, but not just for himself. For his parents and his friends. Ideologically, socially, personality-wise he is Draco to the core, but there is love there, capable of risking the self for the sake of a loved one. Snape appears to do the same, but it’s a fundamentally different thing. His sacrifice, his bravery, his loyalty -- a singular quest for retroactive self-justification.).

I think I would have been disappointed less if Snape was revealed as indeed devoted to the cause and playing Dumbledor all these years. His hatred of James (and I can’t blame him for it; heck, I can’t stand the dull prick, either!), his desire for position, his elitist stance were all ideological, and, as such, rather more interesting to examine than painfully contrived struggle between his beliefs and the calling of his dick. As it is, this “bravest of men” appears to me singularly petty, his bravery -- an off-shoot of some clinical fixation, and his motivations -- inexplicable.

It’s the snake venom talking!

He was in love with Lily? Really? No! Shocker! In a twist that surprised pretty much no one at all, Snape turned out to have harbored tender loving feelings for Lily Evans (Because nothing says "I love you" like ratting out your beloved to someone who would kill her entire family, followed by emotional and verbal abuse of your now dead beloved’s progeny six years running.). How very ... fanfiction. Bad one. Through the whole prolonged explanation of the Lily/Sev past I kept hearing Logan’s voice in my head: “It's very Wonder Years. (Logan, get out of my head! LOL.).

It’s kind of morbidly funny to me that Harry named his son after Snape. His internal reasoning must have gone something like this:

“So, Sev, you betrayed the prophesy to Voldemort, thus causing my parents to be killed. You hate my breathing guts (as well as all other parts of my body except for my eyes; which is not at all creepy, btw.). You made my school life as much of a struggle as you possibly could. You showed nothing but contempt for me and my friends. You encouraged my enemies. You made me doubt myself, my father, my calling in life and my humanity. All in the name of teaching me how to be strong and to protect myself. You did go out of your way to make sure I don’t actually physically die. Because you loved my mom... You embraced the dark, you thought nothing of mass killings, and the only senseless death you regretted was that of my mom. Because you loved my mom... You still despise muggle-borns. You didn’t bulk at a petty vendetta against a pre-pubescent orphan, whose only crime was being the progeny of some prick you hated in school and the girl you wanted for yourself. You see nothing wrong with abusing your position. You couldn’t care any less if you tried whether I lived or died, except that you loved my mom... I’m not The-Boy-Who-Lived to you so much as I’m The-Boy-Who-Just-Bloody-Wouldn’t-Die-When-He-Was-Supposed-To-The-Stupid-Git. I’m a burden you had to carry all these years in penance for what happened to my mom. (Because you loved my mom). And the rest of the dead can go fuck themselves into the after-life. But, hey, professor! You loved my mom! And you think I have pretty eyes! And you are about to shove off this mortal coil. And look how brave you are! So, naturally, bygones! I think I’ll name a kid after you. Not the first-born, you understand, just a middle child (he’s a mistake anyway: we wanted a girl but had to try for another one). Once again, professor, you’ll be second to a James Potter. But still, it's something: there will be a Severus Potter for you to think about while you roll in your grave like a wheel-spinning ferret, you bravest man alive ... oops, dead, you!”

And I don’t think I’ll soon get over the whole “look at me with your mother’s eyes” thing. That’s just wrong on so many levels. “Ahm, sir, those are not my mother’s eyes! Those are contact lenses. That’s the snake venom talking, sir.”

I think I really am too old for these books. They are, ultimately, intended for children. Their sensibilities, the use of language, structure, the depth of character development and exploration are inherently limited. The themes are universal and worthy, to be sure. They dabble in complex. But the impulse that always wins is simplification. As it probably should in such a format. And no, I am not putting them down. I do think JKR did an amazing job introducing the world, ideas, even people that stir something in so many.

But oh, I miss Cassandra Claire and her “Draco Veritas” trilogy. Yeah, yeah, the use of (credited properly, btw) quotes from other sources -- don’t care! She took these characters from 2-dimensional archetypal samples that they mostly stayed in JKR’s books and made them into people. It’s the same Harry Potter Universe, and the first one of the trilogy is written simply enough to resemble the books’ style, but so much deeper, funnier, more intricate and satisfying. And the third one is an amazing fit on its very own. A fanfiction that spawned other fanfiction. They are my books 6 and 7. I take them with as I’m fleeing “The Deathly Hallows.”

New Jason Dohring Discussion Board (come on over, there are cookies!)

2007-06-30T22:35:47Z

arabian – the most tireless and dedicated Chairwoman of the Boards I know – has set this up and is inviting any and all JD fans to join.

She’s posted all the JD-"Moonlight" articles she could find and set up a few threads. After all, there should be a fun JD board. There just should! :) So, take a moment and follow the yellow brick link:

A-Dohring Crowd
arabian

How will you be suspended from LJ? by Anonymous LJ User
Username
Years on LJ
Snape
Hours left until your suspension	31
Your crime	Uncut spoilers about Luke Skywalker's father.
Who reported you	earth2mars
Your fate	You discover fresh air, real life, and true love.